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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐1 m% t9 Q+ g! g; Z1 E2 R
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2 E+ k* s$ R" T- x, B, W% D9 R今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
: y2 o( E: J, H) @我先来！8 n9 y. \- f4 V2 q) ]" Y7 @8 W# H
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# u! {" r `5 y- C& J9 uA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”3 U5 U' _, S: {, q* T
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"$ B9 i+ l" {0 G3 s! \+ x5 H/ S
3 n9 y e( x: O+ O4 {' ?: {1 v, O6 ]. u4 v2 w7 y
一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，) V! m% Z! B! T: d) c' N, V6 l
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
$ s5 I+ [$ _9 W' c弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，: Z% m( _! ^% P, g# t2 I
所以非常受欢迎。
: Q# c: }$ h2 C# s5 t6 z; V/ Y第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
0 |) \! h: B. q) X1 g问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
7 i# a: u* w! S) V4 @/ X大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
8 l* G* m7 S/ O9 i" t0 A回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：, {- i4 c8 ~& |# O! w- i
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
1 H T$ x" d( Q2 h. F不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”0 q% r8 o0 p1 @! \. Z4 u
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
- @/ ^( M- ] h& C5 w$ d j生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
3 y; _: q- y$ ?于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。* Q' ]3 t% `1 u) d4 j+ I
小明：不行6 g) t; A" p# \; j' T4 |
老师：為什麼？5 g/ k( F: A7 W* _( o/ G* t0 S; w% D
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
! O+ ?: S5 ^2 z4 v) h小明：我是照你的话做的
7 v k' j( n, ^1 M. p% J2 b妈妈：我说了什麼？' p) K0 G- D$ B0 H& E
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
' q& c8 {& O7 o她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，9 B2 N: z Q1 V W% W) W4 l
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
$ I. {: `3 I, k5 ~( P& ^* O& i小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
4 r5 X5 a# V A7 S; j5 u7 O妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
5 F+ y: t. q0 O- Q A% i小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！8 q9 o6 x( d" _# H
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ # w2 |7 K) q7 u/ k, C/ W
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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