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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！/ v) R# S* a/ j
我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
4 G5 p% m* \5 F) @# Y/ V# n( L同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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/ C7 s$ N& c; C. z7 k. c一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
: m5 X0 a8 n/ l每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
. u" h; I. b9 c; q# O% n& k/ g. w弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，8 H6 _9 S6 l, O5 B8 z* x
所以非常受欢迎。7 Q4 F, h3 g$ c, C% i/ v0 L
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
: a- q( \0 I f3 ]6 H5 v问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”# Y" z0 Y( U* R4 c( r
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
( u1 D7 P- I* s: r; D回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
* F' W4 E; A' h有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
7 K/ |5 e }; G不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”4 o7 [- }1 b4 F3 Y
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
* _/ {1 G9 p1 j% _% s8 G% W! b% e% h生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。6 X. u: b; P( q$ [8 [
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
+ h" N2 ~2 y+ ?$ q小明：不行: ~# X0 `, |( i8 L9 Z8 y
老师：為什麼？, R: h' w0 ^6 b3 s0 P$ F# a9 B
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分, \7 E e, S+ R) ~
小明：我是照你的话做的
4 ? w7 l- ^8 S N) x5 C/ Z妈妈：我说了什麼？
# h4 K( y, I; y, N: e1 \小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，" A% `+ C3 Q% u; X6 ~* b8 Z5 d
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
4 X2 U9 C+ q& d, X就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
) p& S4 _3 L( i) I1 \* d小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
& a, P( ?% G) R/ o( g1 I5 n妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
# ?6 L! A% Y$ ]$ V% ]- U小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
3 x/ c0 H K0 r. \/ J4 D& Y# D然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。8 |# N* ]% }" V4 R8 g$ u6 v
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