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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
# _" _; K7 ?: Y2 r& L/ ^0 {2 P5 d* ^% ~; o
3 P# Z1 e3 E" O& o今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！7 L& A6 z* {9 a: C8 m
我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
* }! @0 K' c/ p; k @; |同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”: O) K. U y/ q
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，; d2 F3 U( h- t6 L$ S/ j5 {
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”% o: j# F, i5 ^4 }8 B' g" C
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
8 x4 ]9 y* t' Y0 t1 t所以非常受欢迎。5 B0 n* D& d) i6 V' x* N8 G1 ]
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，9 e. G! s( a. H
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
/ V7 O+ ?/ s! h4 N" p大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
; D6 ~. R' N3 M" G( C回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
/ k7 a* |4 H! r; I. E! I有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
; l2 ?; i: M. `! C3 @' Q8 b不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
* A, e x4 Z) P# U* u$ G她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪" V5 F' \3 [, w0 @" A* g
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。, }$ j" A6 G+ b) n
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
0 N, e+ F% E& w; N# `小明：不行
: n! [7 y3 [) H1 f老师：為什麼？3 ^& h$ c3 \, x, @1 G# V, J' X$ R
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分% a7 I* ], m8 `: S* t* Y9 i) J
小明：我是照你的话做的" B3 z. Y" x, I- N5 m) u+ n7 Q
妈妈：我说了什麼？2 w6 ]6 Q4 Z, C: i
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
& y( b B S; }- ?+ q' m她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
( [, \+ I* s! @5 R就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”9 F$ n; b& L( |+ F$ }- T5 ^4 K6 b
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？. ^4 _% B- u# f1 D7 \
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？/ l6 e( l3 z7 [: h
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
* A$ ~% f* w# y然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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^3 }: {) `* _0 L0 m, L/ I
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。, C' n% d+ k8 u
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