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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐( T; W/ r! W/ R0 j
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
: M p, @9 |2 c7 ?) }+ ]我先来！0 G& K6 h- S+ V, u/ K' Y, A
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0 h4 [0 O. s* B0 x2 YA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”9 v' n. e% Q$ X( i, G4 a# Q+ }
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”* y Y% }5 c5 R* r; X# J, F! N
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* @7 r6 f- j$ C! t& j, {深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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\3 ?, M+ l% z1 X4 L4 \0 a一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
" G9 D. o1 v, v. }( u9 M! V4 d3 E每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
- Z' E( }5 p& o9 p5 k弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
$ x, V h' u* ~, ~. S; b所以非常受欢迎。6 k3 r2 u6 f! v" {% y0 s. ?
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，$ U! U, [7 X6 {
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
Q w$ M% |8 ?( }; L大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，4 \( D2 @" P& [* k3 k; z8 l+ V
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：. F( D. W1 W+ m4 G8 {! c$ Z/ ^& Z
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！& N4 z1 G( T+ T) w, J1 Z) T) s
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”3 c' g! A. Q4 j g
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
* R c$ T' m7 k; M) ^1 u生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。2 w h$ C+ Q% e
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
( ~: @8 J# \# X' D n, B1 i小明：不行- g0 w2 a/ d1 {* Q* C# n
老师：為什麼？
2 p/ F% a0 m5 m! p( q( F! _小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分$ {0 Z( A) {" z
小明：我是照你的话做的% U! U1 e" W# n0 E# L5 w& x: r
妈妈：我说了什麼？
+ {* u4 G% C3 N. ]2 J/ ], x小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
4 r9 l$ |; x1 w7 [她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，1 ^# ~$ G" }9 t: j R
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”! N$ L6 L; \( V" |7 `
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？1 e2 _. {; Q( |) P: |2 r6 _
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
3 Q8 J0 q, ]4 N: j. g8 g小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！" u8 h% [9 ], L. S
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 3 v" T1 F8 x) g0 k3 x% |
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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