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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
: P2 g/ f4 R& E& p9 {4 M/ h+ x我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”; G& V- J# M) L9 }( n9 K
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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" W0 d6 x" `) B" [, p& G* |深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"$ M( B5 e7 h- I4 K8 [
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，5 [0 }& W! z- Z) y/ u/ s0 F
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
9 L% {" V# f0 g3 t, f: A# @- j0 E弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
3 q* x1 N# T: K. i: v$ K5 W所以非常受欢迎。
; T& W5 [5 p) M9 I第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
/ W9 x/ w5 x+ }( r! ?1 p问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”* x/ W! f1 p4 z3 Q( `1 t3 A0 J
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
3 f6 |* N" U0 Q0 z4 c* ?% ^3 P% l& Q回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：' \' L8 t2 s1 m1 y5 j/ b, r' n/ v
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！; b3 \9 Z. V7 S! @
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”8 c) f& L/ c) J! o. i3 _! w
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪8 K1 `2 G' |6 i7 h- {
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。9 C, F; w2 y0 m8 R
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
+ }- {. g* e7 j小明：不行
4 w/ y6 Y/ U/ S$ @! J: i老师：為什麼？
8 o1 s0 ^1 O m& p小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分4 u i4 U5 e. X3 K5 m
小明：我是照你的话做的5 S5 L6 D5 v/ h y: d, J& S
妈妈：我说了什麼？
1 f% O2 L+ s- B2 O6 @% z1 q小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，4 F- F# G' T* w. a4 s. _# ^
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
9 j% M$ z$ p8 j- V7 T9 P2 [2 x; q就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”' E& @, u5 n% Z
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？% r7 Q g3 p. h. \7 x
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？* y6 C% U! o. H. u6 D
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！1 W6 G& ~8 m" S Z
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 8 w+ s( W+ F" W. G- [5 X
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。* [3 G) n1 N2 p5 ^, ^0 h
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