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1.局花% G: o+ i8 k* B/ w6 E8 `
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
1 V, g( M8 |7 ^1 Y. v心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
* W. N0 w7 P6 ?/ i+ \小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。; R, F; n& u: l1 r+ j' H* m; b4 k
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么1 E. G3 U% D. M
8 R% j: P2 ~( U+ ?& O. C F
2.媳妇$ ?) i' U+ k8 K8 h0 v" r& H
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。. i- j3 [' H, t9 W! l
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
- [7 l4 k3 x$ {2 I0 O8 t谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”/ e' x% q+ e+ `& j8 U6 q! V. H
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺- r$ z0 p* u" v2 ^
% }/ N& W- _: s/ ?. ^9 X
3.倒贴
; u9 S+ V& e: R2 p$ _" U% }; P过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。1 u$ o) z; u2 B# Z0 h4 Z: u& C6 v- X& p
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
$ r* g9 v; q3 X老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”! H: \+ q9 U) p0 v6 F0 ^
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”& c4 {7 d8 P$ @$ G8 N
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
. I1 O( ], x# A/ c- L7 b- w; `7 N( B“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
# H% B$ e I, H. U$ e评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊5 Q* @8 W1 A: c7 ^& U
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4.刺激3 z) F: }& P; Y( D/ M
今天我走在街上，/ E. c0 Y0 v2 s/ q( u
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
( X' I3 b* a3 `* G% e [，我心想完了。
! f9 P+ L) w i V! D; `$ ]过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。; x" o6 l! [6 E* ^) T
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
S1 Y' l1 [/ C& L" X尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
6 D; Z% q$ _$ M' e* @5 ?. e评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
0 E0 o1 `/ Q g. R0 B- F' ?0 o
" ?- o& H% A% d8 h! n& g5.不加倍
. o+ B5 S- Q5 H9 x6 i; g小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
7 P% X( y4 ~* `! b" p1 y' u2 a% p今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。5 A' q- r% \; `8 E! J
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”- d" L) g& A! V
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！” X/ X. e# Y3 x5 _; [6 S
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”2 B; A# ?' @, c [7 U1 d
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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