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1.局花
0 P2 ^/ p( a; a2 F( D4 ]' F7 U局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，2 S: y6 C" i4 _* k& p, ?0 G
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，" S4 o- a( V/ s# f
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。$ @8 c1 Q8 o ?: c+ U4 a
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
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2.媳妇
2 @! J C' f* q4 B10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。8 p2 B. Y# s/ B+ l
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
( l8 { i: o6 f谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
- K, v, @# k% y! i/ H评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺5 e1 p4 Z8 v! n% c* ^ C$ ]
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3.倒贴9 Z. k3 \ E& p
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。. p& G' g6 v3 l8 r, e& d
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
' G6 L V7 Z0 P8 f1 d老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”3 m7 S, i) W1 f% r8 D: d- R+ y( n
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”% p; w& s$ z1 o# W$ k* ^
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
& O) Y* s, R" ? @- K+ E“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”# ?" K5 Y. P& K' B p, I' y$ D
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
7 X9 k( J8 S6 a' C1 @! \' D
0 u6 ]" \& U7 v4.刺激3 T4 ~2 H* ]* [' e3 g" A2 g
今天我走在街上，
; F& Y# c$ L" ~" z2 v/ B对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺 Y, v) ]) L, p* n
，我心想完了。5 ?3 e1 j9 J$ @/ p4 j3 `# k) [
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
- D( N8 R, M w8 k% l! v“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。6 a7 d f0 l! ]
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！$ N4 ]- U( Q% F9 `
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
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5.不加倍
8 _, ?" ?) t: |( X小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，4 i3 k& c" [/ u) j) _1 q
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
; T5 i* c/ Q3 e {, |' _老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”, ^' c8 V1 I \, K9 ]# r% a
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
7 B0 v" U- Q. q" b0 Q1 m小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”* D6 U2 D: l5 ]9 m. L
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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