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1.局花
, Q9 k9 k+ |* q( W局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
1 h5 h, g4 |9 p+ w: j `+ C7 M心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
2 j# P$ h# ^6 _8 m8 T* ?9 ^, M小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。; m8 u; S9 H( b, a% b
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么) D/ I/ k4 J3 E3 E
4 i0 }8 }% _* E! j+ B) \, N2.媳妇
3 Z# O S- f! Y) U' y2 Q" C10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。4 N0 q1 i' z- C0 E
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
9 N) D% S3 a0 t# } W; k3 T谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
: H8 _- U% L) j% N评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
9 D$ {! Z: Z8 f l; V. ^! s A( B5 @! ]. a2 A$ \
3.倒贴
) L7 a: K! @4 w1 P! E2 V过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。$ a6 V/ g$ Y9 h, H5 z6 C0 W
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。6 k- y+ F3 ]8 d3 g! q
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”! s4 F) ]. J9 R4 ?5 {7 f/ F
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”! O# P O+ _% W
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
+ \. `. z0 ?& }) Q2 |4 C“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
2 ] K+ u( Z3 F3 q! o, f评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
; f. V" }( Y1 _1 u8 [+ J. `) ^- l0 u( G8 J3 H, U/ f+ N o
4.刺激$ {5 @; N# e) y% f, O* h8 O- ?
今天我走在街上，; E$ p6 k$ n2 i/ c
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺# p, B/ [5 g6 W P
，我心想完了。
! q$ ^8 P1 q, F4 y过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。( e& q. r W3 k) T! a1 b9 f
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
* p* Q4 Z1 T6 J, m4 b+ }( |尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！( o- S7 S* C/ N8 k5 }2 p
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激& y( J' b$ |! V) f
% O) b9 F4 I* h% _" O( R: G+ ?- A
5.不加倍
$ E+ ?( X+ u j# `5 P1 A小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，# S* W7 L5 [/ u- V0 h1 H
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
' }) w* B% c! o老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”% s- |, B8 |* [3 R) J8 t
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”6 h# ]3 A0 W: B1 [$ ?
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
3 Y( F9 h% s0 V9 a3 F/ p评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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