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1.局花2 s0 r& ?! g2 v2 O
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
3 X& N* {; g1 @. H* c, u心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，. ~4 _# G0 j8 A& j) n6 L" }
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
2 P8 _: \& M0 i# U" _& ^4 r( f评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
0 ]1 U Z0 Q8 `" W: u+ v# S8 R
. X3 R: F% w- s- N L# B2.媳妇
, L3 N/ E% H# n9 a; N; r7 L10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。: e; b- v, }+ e+ c$ }7 B6 d
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
5 U g) ?2 x% {; U$ g谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”. Y1 [1 Z2 B0 b8 G x' E
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺+ \7 S L& O6 \5 B
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3.倒贴- e; _9 x3 D! G! | n
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
8 P1 X5 O. \9 ]7 Y. h于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。0 ^% w3 d+ R% `5 f ~: A: P
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”* H: B O9 ]& f' m- S) N. Q1 w& [
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”* E- N7 `8 I0 r6 C
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
+ D+ d/ X$ B3 q9 _% m {0 I- @1 z“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
" S0 j4 j; w# ]8 q评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊4 V( i6 P- u/ s7 e2 b% m
; Z1 {+ ^. Z+ x- K9 `/ B4.刺激
7 |5 o1 P2 c# l4 X今天我走在街上，; Q# d# E2 ?. l; D& f+ H4 \
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
$ y, a6 t; X- W! m5 B+ u$ A，我心想完了。+ o& n! o) p, l
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
5 Z2 }1 g1 }$ P" i/ D% A“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。0 R2 O$ E4 Y9 H8 F
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！, R" j* I+ n4 [: `
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激1 f8 K5 Z* Y4 I* P+ p( M Z
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5.不加倍
' h; b! x# R5 D, [小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主， ^" \; i l# D; a! |! d, I$ j# {
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。& t, H) ^' f; t! p' |; H. H
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
. X1 U. \& m% }: T0 ^8 D& ]. B小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”' E# V+ q) p1 \9 R
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
# T* Q; G; X% N) X评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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