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1.局花9 H+ m; G' h; T8 W. @2 c
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，+ E D( @ m. J* `
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
7 x1 h2 q6 W1 @小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。* E2 D9 x, E& K; A7 G
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
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2.媳妇- G; u1 `* M. K+ l- V& T
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。2 P+ g4 G) y2 E. B r% c( s+ R
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？” X; n6 W$ O# O( w# Z% i) I3 y
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”& Q% c/ T5 n7 H3 U5 I/ M
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
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6 c) j# l' @ V, \: I3.倒贴
, q4 N; Y% Y$ x, L/ _. c2 r8 i过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
" H" K9 ]) A# i于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
. o4 ?4 Y+ G2 k( h, _老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”9 h9 u$ L4 n6 U
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”( z6 r+ m5 X9 Y, [. [% n: {: d, M
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，, G* v4 e/ h7 M
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”" n8 @* D8 B3 O- y, J9 r4 F% F2 T
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊) f: F; e5 @6 _ ]) J( a
8 M! k# }6 r5 t9 }: }6 V# t4.刺激
: P, Q) N5 [9 f% E/ J今天我走在街上，
( V9 m( d3 t; H4 Q4 ~6 ?! a" V对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
7 A- B6 ~7 V$ o% W, I，我心想完了。* ]0 b6 |4 l. C
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。' J4 |! f+ T8 `4 M7 S$ g; w2 J
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。6 Q' G: u* }( Y
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！! o8 b; F* V; H* x: {
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
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/ j! j- f l k% z5 p5.不加倍4 }2 R8 \% c8 B) T+ |# H
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，! w. ~- h! Q9 I* Y/ b
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。0 O* s& V$ I+ D4 o9 N% v# \
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”: X9 L* D. }* j& ?* p" h
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
, @ R0 L F) v2 ^) h小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”0 T! _9 p _& M1 r
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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