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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”) c, J$ s& m6 r9 a$ E4 s0 x
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”0 ~1 a- A! W r; y) D$ D
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。( e1 F9 l0 c% q
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。; ?9 S! N/ G0 _7 x/ z( y* e
- l) f3 M0 ^% E+ w' v9 f q. o女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。6 }4 x7 b6 o$ Q
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，" R( D/ q8 @9 X; U
: @% z# t6 X& b$ n6 U可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，: z. n5 b; d8 a( G- W, e
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!9 R) Y9 t7 x: S) Z- ~" r3 F
8 M: n5 n3 R$ i4 @. h她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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z* g! W( x8 Q' Z2 i, H; I恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，( S; n* b( T1 W: y8 p
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”$ [) ?# }" _! F5 P; K
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！ e1 C6 v, K; d' [- [1 s
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。# l1 ]/ a ?4 l% m5 q' N
- d9 b5 v6 T" O# H8 m! N% p; B当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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- t/ l# W' k c! Z$ @我，无业闲人一个。6 i; u7 Q- w& }
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？ ]/ S/ S p; d# s) w0 K
" c; Y/ r) D- c" T: e/ L) I M) H* Y我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。0 o8 ]3 f0 ?9 m/ h6 `
7 C$ U/ H# l! F' _, U0 m* \$ X9 a$ s女：滚她妈犊子，滚…2 V. j# D5 b9 F" V( E+ x; R- A
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当前离线
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