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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”3 Q- z- E/ S; u5 h
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”& N0 a0 i9 g/ b/ N0 l) @
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”2 s+ j$ @+ K( S- P/ w, a
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。$ m0 D8 x' R, v; |! q: S
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，8 O8 C2 i9 Z* ~' ~0 t5 w
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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; {% \( T2 E7 ]我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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+ X) `% @& U$ N* c0 o3 x" m晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”# E* Z& S2 T# R9 K5 o% T
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，. `% M/ F4 `5 ^$ Z
9 W0 L7 G; U& o就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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5 ^8 V* e7 N2 y# B# o# r% g/ G孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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$ S8 j# P W( ]+ a0 B9 ?5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，: s, Q" N4 R7 S9 ?8 k$ s4 M
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！7 T6 ^% }0 l2 E: F) B0 p, b
}+ [- K7 w$ ^" W一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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我，无业闲人一个。
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5 @) E% K7 L M( M# u8 q4 q$ }4 |女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？! U t& b4 B* ~9 z P( v
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。9 p9 q5 e2 h( l3 B% i
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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