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1.局花
0 r H6 O/ G5 n. ~" h局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
8 X8 H1 a: P H- p% ]4 ]( J6 t心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
) O7 u( g6 S' L# F小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。3 Q5 z; M! J+ B9 E& J3 h$ V- ^- n
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
6 F1 x# ?6 v/ O# j0 N4 X4 T5 E5 n- B. M' C7 D
2.媳妇
4 h8 {! t- A" S1 C10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。) Y) p* ^0 `" h; e F" z S
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”6 N9 {7 n) d- D+ S8 F9 G3 S
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”" I* L/ V6 K9 u, f9 c) G
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
3 W$ ?5 [+ S/ C* e* Y) D7 b' z0 a9 a, n/ Y Y/ g
3.倒贴; J% q1 z& T- h& ]7 M; V6 [
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。" Y$ b. i. p6 C" f9 _
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。( F% A3 M! q# e, G" Q
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
$ N; U2 b. k1 S" l老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”4 s( z$ I. f7 C7 s; Y
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，" l, J. u2 X% v6 w3 \
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”6 m* f! l5 p# R
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
$ F4 R1 D5 Y6 y% N3 C9 A U, ]3 M7 |2 ]4 ^) b! X& S0 a
4.刺激8 T; [3 J% V5 u+ P1 ?* V B
今天我走在街上，
3 s) W \" U) P4 f7 Q! ?8 T7 S对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
9 Y' V' t. C0 c4 O4 H( W5 F ^. [，我心想完了。4 M' E/ @4 j* ^2 k
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
; m: ^. Q- {+ r6 a“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
' z6 e' }9 m/ d1 k尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！. T- J6 E- ^9 q# ^
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
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1 h; T2 a7 \' c0 o3 Z7 L! g5.不加倍- b B) n/ M' h: p; C& l
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，: b2 I2 f3 o ]% o: p8 u" Z) t
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。' p' _, W5 Z1 S
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
6 b7 Z& n3 [, ]9 ]" [8 C( n8 c小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
: @5 ~1 y2 z: n% S2 |( v小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
2 c% q C) o* c" z" v6 c6 ^5 `4 q评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的" ? S& e0 n5 Z3 L
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