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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
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: f+ ^+ q8 J- E# l2 o, I1 x: G/ C2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”9 M+ }; K J5 x" _8 g
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”* f0 b) r7 c. |: t5 e% ~
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。# \7 r! k d& F+ D! N( W% l
! \; i, [# r/ C+ L老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。
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/ }5 E9 ?( S3 E4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，* A! W( j8 N X9 e" ^; a* l
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，" _! \8 W4 K$ h- m- P
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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c7 @5 M3 j: ]" Q/ O她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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" B) Z9 d; ~; R% j Z/ R) {0 F晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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$ z/ Y* t% A3 h6 _" k3 }3 }恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”! j- x2 H# y* k/ y: X4 W; g# i
0 ~5 ~& d4 k: Y3 a孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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& X' Y9 U$ @0 \3 H* U5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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0 z/ d& U3 S# Q1 i L" g- \4 G! q; e我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！; J3 M' B4 K. W) O; \
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。& B @6 i v% s7 _' r6 y. T! Y
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？6 k$ B# H9 a1 \* j8 \6 Q
' v' Z4 e! \5 G+ L我，无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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1 @1 ]4 m; Y V3 ]6 c4 O! T1 I我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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$ M: k4 ]( ^! `, Y女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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