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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”4 x K* Q# j4 k+ Z
+ Z0 L( I) e7 J/ m6 u2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”8 r2 {3 q5 Q2 M, @; d0 u
2 ?4 X: Z5 j. N/ k$ y7 g
男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”6 F) c% h- P) B! X' X8 u. I+ b
$ m- l; A* n, u; a% z+ y2 d: E3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。 f, }" o$ n) m
6 [* p7 u% ?4 P% `# I- z& y老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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4 |; Y* f1 J9 h. }% r8 v1 S) f女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
+ l( d5 ]! V" p2 J6 i' h2 G3 s& K
" [* @% U, K6 `3 |- R6 S笑死我了。。。
+ D) i( q7 V# | f- s( T( |
. T$ Y+ f7 [, e V4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，5 V( z% r' g v; @
6 x& n3 |# m* _ Q可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
8 X3 l9 G1 C; G4 _ d. D- J+ O" Q/ ~* F- \' L$ |
我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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! i5 a# m0 o; I* H5 N; }她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
+ v% a% N& w2 O7 X0 X' b8 B
+ J0 ], u5 c% z晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”. \; x* `, H4 o
$ c8 c9 T, k, a恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，) M% b) C9 t0 S7 M+ U1 \; M
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，8 `- m3 k3 Q, i& p8 @. [. t
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
) p% e. S9 t$ n* s2 o& G! t* v' A* _0 e4 F9 ?" `( e4 D6 S2 }- t
一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。/ l1 C: G' T7 {. A7 H
0 M; T: c4 c( M% o7 ^ S h当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？) l$ T/ p$ q* N" d3 t& p
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我，无业闲人一个。 e+ d. ?' M3 p. u
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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' Q; H2 T, e% e6 j" u6 V9 C( Z我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。. |( ?+ i9 u: w; E' A) _
; t% `. v" I% n+ s3 X女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
5 T. ^; @. [9 i$ V4 F: m$ [7 C( X. G2 {
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当前离线
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