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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”/ ~; M7 W; ~6 ]# f8 t, {3 K' ~8 S- i; \
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”2 j; y9 a4 E9 a! b/ Y2 T
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”) b+ }6 t* H" ^& Z
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。4 z8 I4 J* r. u% u9 _& u5 U. ~$ G5 p
7 D# J2 K4 Y3 A: a7 x3 u: T笑死我了。。。" _/ [' ?3 Q1 \8 p$ b! M A, v
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，, }% n" C' ?- `2 Y
1 v" N& o; T8 a可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，6 h6 j4 A2 a- Q
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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: D. @9 b V0 n0 L她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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) m1 o) o; j" T; Q晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，/ C" X7 x% n% A! N7 i
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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; L% k4 [1 }3 N" O! V" }5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，+ l7 p. m/ f8 c& ^4 ^( `$ x% d
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！4 G' l/ ?, |* t+ j0 E3 U
o; K" I: e/ @3 ~% o一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。+ e) d# h" l9 o* e
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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我，无业闲人一个。* @# g& k9 y+ |1 d6 H6 ~' h
- \9 o' p1 m/ v1 }& e% y! t! W女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？% L5 ~4 V2 z9 n) f) d- R
/ [6 {2 F/ q- ^* [1 W- o我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。. q" P M, p# B3 o, }
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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