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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
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2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?” ^5 |7 u7 Y9 R5 m
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男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
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老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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; l& Q* d+ Y' X: M$ H1 d: c笑死我了。。。" u0 D; x: N+ }+ d/ e& A
3 H* n+ z; z$ c9 g4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,- Y; v$ O3 H0 L) Y
* ~, c2 \2 M6 ~我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦! [/ C6 v: Y( J8 L N! r! R8 u
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!9 L( R* F# [, z! g
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晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”/ F* t- ^8 k1 U% B) [) ?
4 v8 b6 K8 m. h恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,
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就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”: Y1 i2 z- y1 g8 F+ U# K" a5 `
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孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…' E- V. W5 v8 b: g
. Q& m1 U5 c0 d5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,
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我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。
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0 r0 m: k8 v/ D7 ?5 Y- N& e6 D) o7 M当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?
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1 L7 G: x" d, R( Q) v我,无业闲人一个。$ k R+ e1 W# }; Q
- l7 N' e- c/ E8 l5 Y$ V3 q女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?4 Z* e3 q* n& ~
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我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。
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& i6 X7 Z% A& o- w, z" z j女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
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当前离线
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